S’cuse me, Lady.Of all the people to pick on the street, why bother me? What is it about me that makes beggars pick, out of all the people on a random street, me. I can’t turn them down when I look into their eyes. It makes them human. They’re not just another gum-stain in the sidewalk. Most people would have just gazed at her and continued walking. Oblivious. Content. Her eyes are brown, I have to respond.
S’cuse me Lady, but do you have any change you could spare. I was a nurse in the war and I saw terrible things. I –Zone her out. Most people would have just continued walking by. Why did I stop? I always stop. Now I have to give something. Ah, who am I kidding, I would have given her money anyways. There’s something about this old woman. This sort of intensity that reminds me of…well it’s not important. (Feels odd connection).
Squats down and puts a fifty dollar bill in the old woman’s upturned hat. Now people stare. The sun irritates my neck. They’re not used to such humanity towards a lowly beggar. The tips of my ears burn. The woman holds many odors, none of them plesant.
Oh God bless you, Lady! God bless you!Smile. Nod nonchalantly. Get up and turn around. A pressure on my wrist? Turn.
Lady, for your generosity I can give you something in return…Brown eyes. How did she get up so fast? She must be fitter than she looks. The smell is gone. Brown eyes that burn holes in mine. There’s a light behind those eyes. It’s unsettling. Those are the eyes of a youth. The sun is sweltering. The eyes of energy and vigor combined and wisdom. I’m interested.
Lady, I have been around for a long time.Wrinkled face. Missing teeth. I don’t doubt that.
I have seen many things, Lady,Yeah, I’ll bet.
and I have come to know the way of many things.Eh?
If you’d wish it Lady, I can tell you the events of your future.Now people are really starting to stare. The look on my face has turned sour. My face is heated. Shock and surprise label it. The sun blisters the back of my neck and ears. My face burns. Sit her back down and take her up on her offer. Sit her back down with the gum and the cracks. Hopefully she won’t bother me anymore. Of all the people to give money to…
I have seen the lives of millions, Lady. I have seen their threads weave and intertwine. Three threads from two. Four, five, six threads from two. Such is the human condition, Lady. To seek love from others.Interesting. I reach and feel my neck. No blisters. It feels cool to my touch. Her face looks so sad. She speaks in whispers now.
I have also seen threads connect and end. A thread mingles with another thread and the latter is cut short. I have felt that pain, Lady. I have known what that cut feels like.She’s a dead sun now. She radiates exhaustion. Such a presence. I can’t help but feel sympathetic. She looks up. A grin in her eyes not shared by her mouth. Such a hot day.
It is not in my intention to manipulate you, Lady. But there is one thread that has continued throughout the ages, and I have spent more than one lifetime trying to find out where it ends. But threads are tricky things. Least alone those of the eternals…but that is not for you to know right now. Reading the lives of humans is tricky enough, as Fate is forever interjecting her ways into those threads.What a crazy old bat. At least it’s an entertaining story though.
She pauses, glaring at me for a second before continuing.
Sudden loves, deaths…children.I’ve been cut somehow. Deep inside. My stomach feels twisted. My heart dropped. How did she know? My worst fear and my yearnings. My hands tremble. How? Dry throat. She must know. There’s something in those eyes. What the hell…?
Lady, I don’t mean to manipulate you. I tell you these things to gain your trust.Don’t mean to manipulate? My mind spins. Gain my trust?
Lady, I know you’re not one of much faith. But believe me when I say: You will live a long happy life. You will help others. You’ve got a good heart. You will follow it.She says these more as commandments. My skin crawls. Gooseprints dot my arms. Her words make me feel tense and loose. My spine feels oddly curved. Sweat glues my shirt to me.
She smiles at my discomfort. The eyes dull. Her posture slumping, she smiles bigger.
God bless you, Lady. God bless you…She is exhausted. My shirt comes free. My spine straightens. Get the hell outta there. Turn and walk. The temperature equalizes.
Rush down the street. That old woman was crazy. She was insane! No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. Bullshit. (The mind’s voice is harsh) Bullshit! (It makes me uncomfortable) My thoughts make me uncomfortable. Part of me knows it’s true. Part of me knows that the part of me that knows it’s true is lying. I can’t…(Silence) I can’t get it out! I can’t get it out of-
A man looking down at me.
Excuse me Miss, are you alright?My eyes flash upwards. He is taken aback. My haste has steered me into collision. Two threads. I study his face.
Miss?Genuine concern. He bends down and helps me collect the items fallen from my purse. Such a big purse. I feel stupid.
Here, let me help you up.He stands next to me and takes me above the elbow. I wince. My elbow broke my fall.
Oh no!He seems near tears,
Miss, you seem really hurt.Insist decency.
No, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t help you to a hospital. You’re elbow is already swelling up.Green. Red pain flares, but green. Those eyes. For the first time in days, a smile appears. He smiles back. Those green eyes. I’d kill to see those eyes shine.
I…
His voice trails off. His blushing creates an unintentional gleam. Radient.
Cue Cheesy Montage
Going to hospital.
The first date.
The fish swim gracefully as we walk through the glass room. Separate but intertwined. I mention my inundated fear of sharks. Smiles, steering me away from the shark tank.
The second date.
The Taste. So many tastes. I get the Hawaiian shish kabob, Asian pizza for him. So many tastes. Shish-covered-lips meet pizza-lips. The tastes don’t mix. We pretend otherwise.
The seventh date.
Dinner and a movie. Neither match the conversation.
The one-month anniversary. (There was a fire downtown, did you hear? Not far from where we met)Two, four, seven-month.
Holding hands. Innocent pillow-talk.
One, two, three, (quit job downtown. Take economics job at a community college) four, five, (Wedding), six, seven years.
S’cuse me, Lady.A clear, strong voice. High pitched with high energy. Bell-like. Ringing with command. Look around. The voice appears to be coming from a little girl leaning against the building. Her knee is bent, and her foot is propped against the wall of a moderately new building. She is looking down. I couldn’t ignore her if I tried. Others walk by ignoring her. It’s a nice day. She’s not wearing any shoes.
S’cuse me, Lady.I approach. She continues to study the gum-stains. My breath catches. Not sure why. Why…why…why…eye? Why I? Why me? Why “eye”?
Fire is a funny thing, Lady.I’m shaking. I…I am petrified and confident. I’m hot and cold. What the hell?! I don’t know why.
A long time ago fire claimed the building that was once here. There was only one death and one survivor.
No.
No one knew about the death. It never really happened. Not in the way you think of death anyways, Lady.…
A long time ago I burned out. Not everything lasts forever. When it does, love becomes a curse in Blessing’s skin, but I came back.It’s too…familiar…
She studies my shoes, ankles, knees,
You haven’t been down this way for a long while, Lady.hips, fingers, palms, wrists,
Do you remember, Lady? Two can become four? Five? Six?Smiling now. Petrified still. Pewterized feet protruding from the concrete.
forearms, elbows, shoulders,
Two can become three, Lady.Ants march up and down my arms. The sun swelters my neck. The girl smells like wood, ash…the little girl smells like fire.
collarbone, chin,
Do you remember?Her hair hides her face.
I feel my center. I feel calm. I feel something ready to explode from within. I feel the sun on my neck, I feel the breeze through my hair. I feel the weight of other people on the little square of sidewalk I stand on. I feel composed, misplaced, easy.
throat,
I smell the aftershave of men as they walk by. I smell the perfume of women as they pass. I smell the filth that wafts from the sewers, insistent in its existence.
The sun is cool. It’s playing its reverse.
chin,
I hear the shoes strike the concrete. I hear the people shouting “taxi! Taxi!”, I hear the breeze as it passes my ear. I hear the car horns.
lips,
It all fades.
nose,
I hear nothing. I feel calm. I smell wood, ash, fire. I see…eyes. I hear
Remember the threads, Lady.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete